“We’re still dealing with this? I thought it was going to be a one-and-done kind of thing… yawn,” said local citizen.

Indeed, even news networks and talk shows are reporting extremely low viewership numbers whenever they address the virus. “It used to be, you mention corona or covid and BAM – you’re lighting up! Nowadays, people have grown tired of hearing about it,” said NCA News Anchor Shelly Ovelstein, “It’s just not that interesting. Yeah, it’s still killing three thousand Americans a day… but like, what else is it doing?”

Barry Golden, a college student at The University of Burton, was “initially psyched” to have his classes cut short due to the virus. Now, he says he’s ready to move on. “What happened to the World War 3 stuff at the beginning of the year?” he commented, “That was exciting. I was watching war movies to prep for my spotlight.”

According to Golden, Americans all over are going to get bored if “the virus doesn’t kick it into high gear.” He even had a few suggestions.

“Could we maybe help the virus mutate into something cooler? Maybe it could turn people green or purple or something?”