Andrew Yang, an entrepreneur with zero previous political experience, was able to make a surprising amount of leeway in the 2020 Election, even favored to be the forerunner in several of the upcoming primaries. However, late Tuesday morning, Yang made an announcement that shocked many of his supporters.
“Now, I want to make one thing clear to all of you,” the philanthropist said in a ballroom to his camp while they awaited results for the New Hampshire primary, “This is not me backing out of the presidential race. This is what we in Government like to call a Tactful Retreat.”
“Now I know many of the tens of you who have given me your donations would be disappointed to know I was calling it quits here. I’m not. This is a calculated move I’m making in order to help secure the 2020 Presidency,” the candidate said.
Supporters were allegedly not “going for his bullshit” despite his attempts to placate them. One attendee claims she felt Yang was just trying to weasel out of any personal responsibility for tapping out.
“Now here’s the key – moving forward, it’s on all of you to help me secure this election,” Yang began as he detailed his scheme, “In order for the master plan to pay off, you are all going to have to write my name onto your ballots when you’re voting. And if not enough of you do it, then it’s really your fault I didn’t win the election, not mine. And then you’re not allowed to be mad at having wasted so much investing in me.”