On Wednesday, Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison denied that Climate Change is real, stating that the recent widespread wildfires destroying Australia were “simply a worse-than-average year for us, or perhaps a portal to Hell has been opened and our country is the first of many to fall to the Dark Lord. But either way the idea that seven billion human beings are beginning to have a lasting impact on the world is simply ludicrous,” he shouted over a crackling fire as the town of Conjola, NSW burned behind him.
We asked the prime minister how he felt about the numbers of the fire – 9 people whow 480 million animals had died, and 30 percent of their habitat had been destroyed.
“Yes, these things happen. Care for a handshake?” The Prime Minister responded.
He then added that this whole thing was “likely a stunt pulled off by that little Minx Greta Thurnberg” to prove a point. “Fake news,” he dismissed the case.
Scott Morrison then concluded the press conference by asking any Australians currently in fear of the fire or currently being consumed by the flames of hell itself to “be patient” as his office works on a solution. “It’s tough though, we have to come up with our way to deal with this because no one’s ever predicted something like this would happen.”