On Thursday, President Donald Trump denounced the fact that the 2019 Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to Ethiopian Prime Minister Abiy Ahmed instead of him.
“I earned that fair and square. Everything I’ve done during my presidential run has been to maintain the peace. And if the Norwegian Nobel Committee doesn’t start recognizing that, there will be hell to pay.”
The president’s comments have been met largely with confusion, especially considering that time he nearly started World War III a couple of days ago. “Without war there can be no peace,” the president commented dismissively when the issue was brought up.
“I’ve got my eye on Norway. They don’t even have Nuclear weapons so, if I was them, I would start considering a certain American president a lot harder in the 2020 ceremony. Otherwise I’d keep an eye out for drones that night.”
One of the reporters asked the president outright if he was threatening war if not awarded the laurel, to which he replied, “Well, I’m not not threatening war.”