Satoshi Tajiri, creator and director of the Pokemon franchise and president of Video Game Developer Game Freak has been found guilty of 19 counts of animal abuse, 10 counts of animal cruelty, and a single count of dog fighting.
The conviction comes after local police discovered more than 100 dogs in the esteemed video game creator’s basement, all adorned with bells and whistles to make them vaguely resemble creatures from Tajiri’s hit video game series and anime. Once police finished picking out their favorites from the bunch, they noticed the dog fighting ring setup to resemble a Pokemon gym and arrested Tajiri immediately.
“I thought you guys would be board with this,” Tajiri commented after his arrest. “What have I spent these years grooming you for? Did you not play the games?”
Police reluctantly complimented Tajiri on the sheer diversity of dog breeds in his basement, to which Tajiri simply stated “gotta catch ’em all.” Still, the Tokyo police made sure to take a stance.
“He’s a sick f*** for getting any sort of enjoyment out of forcing these animals to fight,” commented police chief Ayumu Tanaka. “And once we track down the rest of the participants, we’ll be putting a stop to this.”
Ayumu then admitted that it may take some time to catch the other suspects involved because he wanted to “finish beating all the gyms in Pokemon Shield first”.