Politics

President Trump – “Lev Parnas is The Biggest Snitch Since Edward Snowden”

Last night on the Rachel Maddow show on MSNBC, Lev Parnas shocked the nation by revealing accusations against President Trump and his administration, claiming that President Trump “knew exactly what was going on” in Ukraine. Now, the president has responded, and he’s not holding back any punches.

“Lev Parnas is a little snitch. Perhaps the biggest snitch since Edward Snowden,” decried the president in a press conference early Thursday morning, “I thought he was one of the boys. We watched football together. We played golf an obscene amount of times together. And he does me like this? Is there no honor among thieves?”

“It hurts, you know? You let someone in your inner circle, you show them how you’ve done a few, eh, questionable things, and you expect them to accept you. If they were truly a good person, they would accept you. They would have your back. Instead, this man turns right around and starts running his mouth,” the president said tearfully.

“I mean, how am I supposed to get out of this one now? He’s really got me up against the wall now… it’s messed up.” He then added, “If you’re a real one, you won’t talk to that rat anymore. Your street cred’s on the line.”

When asked about what he planned to do going forward, President Trump ominously chuckled before saying, “Well, you know what they say about snitches.” When asked if he was threatening a government official on live television, the president turned to the reporter and asked, “You plan on snitching too?” before signaling the secret service to carry the screaming reporter out of the room.

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