Russia Unsure if Ban From All Global Sports For Cheating Is Real News, Fake Real News, or Real Fake News

The World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) has imposed a four-year ban on Russia from all global sport, including the 2020 Tokyo Summer Olympics, the 2022 Beijing Winter Olympics and the 2022 Qatar World Cup. Individual Russian athletes untainted by the scandal will still be able to compete in competitions independently under a neutral flag.

The news was met with confusion and distress from many members of the country confused at the idea of being punished for cheating. Some of them have taken to the internet in a fury, denouncing it as “obvious fake news”.

“This is the exact sort of misinformation we would spread to try to paint certain political figures in a positive light ahead of an election,” said Misha Bobrov, “We’d spin such a story and put in on the internet, and let them take credit for something that didn’t really exist. But this one is out of left field. It’s too soon before a major political election. It’s amateur. Who would believe it?”

Vladimir Krakinov, the winner of the 2018 “Most Russian Name” contest, had this to say –

“The idea that our well known cheating and manipulation would be punished is laughable. I know the state of world politics has been a bit cuckoo lately, but jeez.”

We asked him how he’d feel if the ban was real and Russia’s chance of competing in those event were truly dashed.

“Well, I’d feel cheated,” he responded, “Everyone deserves a fair shot. Why does the World Anti-Doping Agency get to interfere with us?”

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