Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin took to the stage at the World Economic Forum to present a revelation to the crowd. “Greta Thunberg is not eighteen!!!” he screeched, loud enough to make the microphone give feedback. “Look at her. She’s seventeen. She’s SEVENTEEN!”
“How did she get in here? How did she make it past all the signs? Is no one else disturbed and shocked that the rules our society have been founded on have been broken without any regard for the impact on our nations’ values? She’s not supposed to be in here!”
Mnuchin then took a moment to reign in his emotions before continuing, “I was told there were rules. I expected there to be rules. When I tried to visit the World Economic Forum in the early 1900s, I was dismissed because I was too young. When I tried to buy smutty magazines at the gas station near my neighborhood, the cashiers would say no because I wasn’t 18. When I wanted to drink alcohol, I had to wait until I had served 3 years in the war before I was 21 – therefor old enough to be considered an adult. So why does Greta Thunberg get to break the rules? It’s not fair. It’s not!”
Mnuchin then finally broke down, sobbing on the ground while the crowd looked on awkwardly. Eventually, someone took him aside and gently explained that there were no age restrictions on the World Economic Forum and that, like with literally anything, “anyone who has done the research and has knowledge can contribute”.