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Trump Admits To Developing Cloning Program, Wants To Replace Staff With Copies of Himself

The president has had enough.

With recent comments from retired General John Kelly, President Trump’s former Chief of Staff, Trump has been incensed and taken to twitter to announce what he and his team have been working on.

“This is why people fall out of favor with me,” The president began in his angry tweet, “I’m the president. Follow my lead, don’t annoy me, don’t get to creative. And yet Congress wonders why I’ve been accelerating the cloning program.”

John Kelly spoke out against the president early Thursday morning, mentioning that he disagreed with the president’s stance on immigration and on his views of the media. Kelly seemed to think it was important for citizens to engage in watching “Free Media”, while also making sure they watch multiple sources since the media outlets themselves have visibly taken sides.

“[John Kelly] was a total loon. The ideas he had were complete nonsense. And it’s not always easy, telling who’s good and who’s bad. Sometimes someone seems cool and then they turn out to be batshit,” the president said in a twitter thread.

“It’s exactly what happened with Reince Priebus, Katie Walsh, Steve Bannon, Michael Flynn, McMaster, Fiona Hill, Tim Morrison, Alexander and Yevgeny Vindman, and so on! The only common denominator here is that I’m the victim.”

The president went on to specify his expectations of his cloning program.

“Project Me-Me seeks to eliminate these issues. Every single one of the Mini-Donalds is being grown and groomed to look, think, and act exactly like me. Finally the White House will be running smoothly. The best part is, technically the other Donalds will be able to run for president. We will keep America great, and rule for a thousand years! Sieg Heil!”

Other White House officials could not be reached for comment.

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