Trump Awards Medal of Freedom To Every Republican in Senate Not Named Mitt Romney

President Trump has announced his plan to award the Presidential Medal of Freedom to all of his “loyal Republican pals” in the Senate following his not-guilty verdict in his impeachment trial.

“I’m still just absolutely gushing that our justice system is so rock-solid that even a President, ganged up on and falsely accused of things he truly did, can be found completely innocent,” The president said on his official Twitter account, “As I work on getting the whole impeachment snag expunged from my record completely, I feel the need to show my respects to all those Republicans not named Mitt Romney that were in my corner.”

“You kept me out of jail and ensured my freedom. What more reason to bestow upon you the Medal of Freedom? Not that I need much reason at all.”

President Trump then later tweeted that he planned to expand the recipient list – not, as one might assume, to include Mitt Romney after all, but instead to include the Democrats in the Senate who tried to impeach him in the first place.

“Aw Hell, I’ll give [The Medal of Freedom] to the Democrats too. Might as well get something for their trouble!”

This means that a total of 99 people will be receiving the Medal of Freedom, of which Mitt Romney is not one.



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