Trump, Upon Discovering He’s 1/10th Native American, Vows to Deport “The White Man”

“We have to send them back,” stated President Donald “He Who Builds Fences” Trump on Monday, upon getting his 23andme results back and learning he was 10% Cherokee. In a move startling even his most staunch supporters, Trump seems to be turning on the very values that helped elect him into office.

“The White Man has usurped the spiritual land of my people,” said President Trump in a press conference, “Our sacred places have been desecrated by the colonizers, the time for reparations is nigh!”

He then declined any further questions about his ominous comments, instead opting to turn to twitter.

“I will return my people’s land to them, or else!

#NativeAmerican #SendThemBack”

Donald Trump also expressed interest in building a wall across the Atlantic Ocean in order to prevent more immigrants from Britain invading American land.

Trump’s Aid noted that the president’s change of heart did not come immediately after learning of his heritage, but instead happened directly after Trump learned that Native Americans are not subject to Federal Tax.

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